Wednesday, April 7, 2010
This post is a bit of departure for me, but something's been weighing on my brain lately. Truth is, I have been single for almost 6 years. And by single I don't just mean boyfriend-less, I mean completely date-less. I don't know if any of you have been single for that long, but for me it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride of highs ("I'm independent and fabulous! Who needs a man?") and lows ("Am I the only single person at this holiday party, wedding, etc? Is everyone in a relationship but me?"). The single and fabulous feeling is just hard to sustain over this length of time. It's been 6 YEARS!
But this is not the first time I've been in this place. I spent most of my high school years and my first couple of years of college quite alone. I was about ready to give up on the prospects at my school, but then I met someone major, literally the next day. And I guess I've spent the past 6 years waiting for the same thing to happen, for someone to come along at exactly the right time. But as the years go by, I get more and more cynical. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life. I have a great job, great friends, hobbies that I'm passionate about. But there's just this nagging thing, this lack that I feel. At what point do you give up on the fairy tale and just accept that maybe you're meant to walk through life alone and that maybe that's OK?